Home for the Holidays (and Perhaps an Epiphany)

I’ve been remiss in blogging. Since my last post, I’ve decided to take a career break. I’ve been considering it for some time now, and the timing just seemed right.

I left home approximately 10.5 years ago. Coming from a family that’s beyond massively massive (my mom and dad, combined, have 20 siblings…each averaging another 2-3 kids), I’ve missed out on a ton of family gatherings and life events. There are so many little kids I haven’t met yet, and loads more cousins I knew as toddlers who are now teenagers. Traversing halfway across the globe for university, I didn’t have the luxury of going home on long weekends. I didn’t leave campus for days and come back with courtesy-of-mom-fresh-laundry or home-cooked meals. Most holidays, friends adopted me into their families. While I prided myself on my newfound independence, no amount of adoptive-family holidays could replicate the feeling of being with my own family. So, next week, I am off to the tropics.

For a brief period, I get to see some of my oldest friends, get back in touch with my roots, sit down to family dinners, and escape the rat race of the San Francisco Bay. I’m looking forward to spending slow days with my last remaining grandparent –the grandmother I grew up with– listening to her stories or strolling alongside her around the mall (her chosen form of exercise).

Since I left home, I’ve only been back thrice…four times, if you count both Guam and Philippines. Last time I was on Guam, I realized I was in a committed relationship I no longer wanted to be committed to. The time before that, I began rebuilding a relationship with my sister that was rocky in our youth. I’m beginning to wonder if my subconscious reason for returning this time around is to seek enlightenment for something new.

I’m really taking the next couple of months to spend time with family, but if being home sheds light on my seemingly perpetual quarter-life crisis (the symptoms have worsened these past few years), even better. Guam is so small and slow-paced; what else is there to do than ruminate? Maybe I’ll garner some wisdom from my parents. Maybe I’ll stumble on an epiphany. Maybe I’ll stumble on two epiphanies; I seem to be addicted to those lately. Maybe I’ll merely get some family time in and get this travel itch out of my system. Maybe only time will tell.